I have had a very tough time getting in my Coffeeneuring reps this year.
Because of lingering effects of Long Covid that include recurring waves of fatigue, poor sleep and balance issues, riding a bike isn’t always advisable. If I push myself too much, I can pay for it the next day by being too wiped out to even take a shower. The bummer is that there is no way to predict how much energy I’ll have or when I’ll have it.
So today, I slept through the morning, skipped Coffee Outside and was going to call it a day.
I couldn’t walk in a straight line. So I knew it would be stupid to try and ride my bike.
By lunchtime, I felt a little steadier and the sun had come out. I decided I’d walk somewhere and back, even if it wore me out the next day.
I plotted a course and took the bus to Petite Provence, where I knew I’d find something I could enjoy on a budget, even it was just a croissant and some coffee.
I’ve been going here for years, and it has always been lovely.
But I hadn’t been there in over a year and I guess things have changed.
I waited to be seated. When no one came after ten minutes, I motioned to the water behind the bar and asked if I could take a seat there. She nodded, and I sat down. I waited another ten minutes before she came over to take my order, a croissant and a cup of decaf coffee. I asked if she could 2rm up the croissant and she nodded.
I watched as she placed a croissant on a plate and took it behind the pastry case to warm it up.
Then she returned to the bar and began whipping up a bunch of drinks — mimosa flights, some Irish coffees and more. She did not return to get my croissant for probably fifteen minutes, when I caught her eye and smiled. She looked like she had forgotten about it, and ran back to get it.
After she brought it and my coffee to me, she disappeared in another flurry of bartending.
I bit into the croissant, which was lukewarm at best and rubbery — and I knew that she had warmed it up in a microwave oven, which surprised me. If you run a French bakery and cafe, you should know better than to reheat anything in a microwave.
I was hungry from my walk and didn’t really have the energy to make waves, so I ate it. Just as I had taken my last bite, she stopped by to ask how my order was. I asked if she’d warmed up my croissant in a microwave and she nodded. “Yeah, that’s all we have anymore. We used to warm it up in an oven in the bakery but that takes too long and there isn’t really enough room back there anymore.”
I nodded, made a mental note to look elsewhere for croissants in the future, paid my bill and left.
It was still sunny and reasonably warm outside, so I decided to walk home, or at least as far as I could before I needed to catch a bus. I wound up walking slowly along residential streets, admiring the trees whose leaves hadn’t fallen yet and enjoying the white cirrus clouds which had come into view across a blue sky. I stopped to catch my breath when I needed to, or when I came across. little Free Library (my neighborhood is positively riddled with them). I took my time, and managed to walk the whole way home. Combined with the walk from the bus to the cafe, I was good for just over two whole miles, and felt like I had earned my afternoon nap.

Because of how I’m feeling these days, this will likely be my last Coffeeneuring ride or walk of the season. If I somehow qualify for the Challenge, I don’t yet know if I’ll actually order the patch. Since becoming so diminished by Long Covid and arthritis, a fair amount of what I used to share online has started to feel, well, a bit performative: look at me! I’m living out in the world and keeping up with everyone!
But over the last few months I’ve had to admit to myself that keeping up has been exhausting and at times even a little dispiriting. I suppose some of this is part of the adjustment one makes when transitioning from work to retirement, but in my case retirement wasn’t my choice and I have struggled to adjust.
I find going out in the cold and damp isn’t as much fun as it used to be. I used to actually enjoy riding in the autumn rainy season. But not anymore. I’ve grown too sensitive to the damp. My joints ache and the fatigue from pushing myself can really knock me down. I can’t promise that I’ll be back for another Challenge next year. I just don’t know.
I hope for some more dry days before winter really settles in, so I can try to enjoy riding my bike. If I can try and I find that it isn’t fun, I may have to think about what those to do with myself. It’s all part of the adjustment, I guess.