Sunday, October 31, 2021

My last entry for the time being.

 I haven't given much time to this blog. I also haven't given much time to bicycles or to cycling.
The truth is that Covid changed a lot of things for me, including my relationship to bicycles and to riding. The shutdown made it impossible for me to enjoy riding because there was no one to ride with for a very long time, and because there wasn't really anywhere to go.

Now that things are opening back up, the fact is that I am tired, fatigued -- from both the length of the shutdown and from the lack of physical activity that it brought into my life. With no work and nowhere to go, my wanderlust has pretty much fizzled out. I no longer have any meaningful reason to ride my bicycle when it's frankly easier to walk or take the bus.

I take naps now, almost every day. How much of that is aging, how much is depression and how much is the lingering effects of the shutdown I cannot know, and in the end it doesn't change my fatigue. Over the last twenty months I have been hard pressed to find work I can do without running to the bathroom hourly or without needing to sit down after an hour or two on my feet. I'll grant that a lot of this has been the change in my daily routines, brought about by Covid and by a lack of work that I can do. But at least some of it is simply that I don't have the physical energy I once did. I'm seeing doctors about various things and trying to understand what's going on. So far all that anyone can tell me is that the aging process can be amplified by autoimmune disease; and that perhaps some more tests are in order to rule out anything extreme.

And I guess I'm done with this blog. Bicycles stopped being my profession nine years ago, and in the last two years they've ceased to be much of a hobby as well. So I have nothing new to report on the state of the bicycle industry (except that I think it's kind of gone to hell, with its increased racing trickle-down of parts that ordinary people don't need and can't really afford), and little to report on the state of my bicycle riding, at least for now.

It's been fun. I've loved bicycles and bicycling for a long time. If I love it less now, it's only because it hurts my knees ad there's no meaningful relief I can afford on the horizon. So Thanks for reading, and thanks for your comments. I'll leave the blog up for awhile so people can still read the articles; and I'll decide what to do with it in the longer run later on.
I hope I can enjoy riding again by getting some help with my knees, my gut and my head. But if I can't, I won't feel sorry. I've lvoed bicycles since I was very little and have ridden them my whole life. If at some point my body says to walk instead, I'm okay with that. For now, I'll wait and see.

Happy riding.