Saturday, December 29, 2018

Nothing to see here right now. Sorry.

Depression has taken hold and won't let go.
I haven't felt like riding since the weather turned cold and wet. I struggle to find the energy each day to do SOMEthing, whether it's hustle for gigs or create music or art or even just do the laundry.
I know that a great deal of my depression is amplified by Seasonal Affective Disorder.
I know that moving to a warm, sunny place would probably help at least a little.
We're not moving. Can't afford to, don't really want to, etc.
But while the weather is this cold it is super-hard to make myself get out on a bike.
The closest I've come is to turn wrenches in the shed, working on refugee bikes (I just got a few donations in -- thank you! -- and so I'm whipping them into shape).

I will try not to berate myself too much. I will try to make myself take a little spin around the block later. I will try not to criticize myself too harshly if I fail. And I will try again tomorrow.


Eric in California said...

Hi Beth, even in your troughs you are an example to the rest of us who struggle with depression. Instead of giving in completely, you're wrenching away on refugee bikes and making the world a little bit of a better place. Keep on keepin' on! Happy New Year in the meantime.

bikelovejones said...

Thanks so much, Eric. Depression is a beast and sometimes I have to find different ways to feed it without feeding myself to it. Today I'm hoping for the energy to take a little ride. Cheers and happy new year.