Bike Happy Hour

I went.
I went multi-modal because I knew I couldn't ride the whole way there without suffering.
It was nice to get outside and socialize with folks I mostly did not know, though I also saw a few old friends. Jonathan Maus (our host) was thrilled at the turnout, and held forth about this and that thing and candidate in the upcoming election, where we will chosoe a new, more representational City Council and Mayor. I was more involved in a conversation about how we will all need a very long time -- perhaps a generation or more -- to really process the number that Covid did on us individually and collectively.
I stayed for about ninety minutes and could feel my energy draining, so I left, riding all the way to Lloyd Center before tossing my bike on the bus to get up the hill.
Whenever I stopped to catch my breath, I looked up at the sky, which was the most beautiful thing I saw this evening. Portland skies are often beautiful during the rainy season, so I made it a point to notice.
It was cold.
My knees hurt, most likely from the cold and from not having ridden very much.
My hands hurt whenever I leaned too hard on the handlebars or when I applied the brakes.
I could feel how out of shape I'd become over the last five years.
Quite frankly, Covid had done a number on me, too, and it was highly unlikely that I'd get most of my fitness back.
When I got home, I was tired and melancholy and achy.
Tonight is my second night with the CPAP machine, and I understand it could take several days or more to grow used to it.

I feel positively assailed these days by so much change and I don't like it.

I'm glad I could still ride my bike, but it was such a hard won moment of victory that I'm paying for with achy knees and a tired spirit.

I hope things will improve when the weather warms a little.