dear minneapolis (a love note)

Dear Minneapolis: Fine. You win. You're all the baddest-assed bike riders in April because there's ten feet of snow on the ground and you're out riding in it with spiked tires and heating up beer and venison over a camp stove at the park or whatever.
But if you come visit me here and I hear even a PEEP about how horrible it is to ride in the rain every day, or how it's amazing that all these gray days don't make everyone here clinically depressed, or some other ninth-circle-of-soggy-hell blah blah blah, I will make you ride with me across the Tillikum Crossing bridge while it's 38F and raining sideways.
Both ways.
Without fenders.
THEN we'll see who's the bad-ass.
Love, Portland

P.S. we'll have a fresh pot of real coffee waiting for ya.
..::all of the above typed with tongue firmly planted in cheek::..
Happy riding.